Tuesday, March 20, 2007
33 Years of Adjusting the Focus
The end of this month will mark my 33rd year with diabetes. Back in those early days, I didn't even consider that I'd make it to 20 years, which seemed to be the cutoff for many of my T1 relatives.
Yet here I am - still kickin', despite long periods of neglect. I have gratitude that I came to my senses while I still had a core of health to nuture. Seems somewhat miraculous, No?
A couple of years ago I won a great digital camera in an office contest. Tinkering with all of the settings makes me think of living with db - all the tiny little adjustments that need to be made to result in a good photo - light, shadow, focus - more of this, less of that. Just when I think I've got it down, I delve further into the instruction manual and discover something else to try.
I love the challenge of seeing how much detail I can capture with the macro mode, yet it prevents me from considering the bigger panorama. The details of db make it easy to forget that I am greater than the condition. I am a friend, neighbor, co-worker, daughter, sister, auntie, musician, craftsperson and OC member.
When I look at the top picture of the syringe, I see the endless drudgery it represents, along with the suffocting emotions of anger, shame and fear. But, if I move back a couple of inches, I see the lovely piece of embroidery that my Norwegian granny taught me to do.
Another step back and I see the candles I light that calm my mind and connect me to a larger sense of being.
We navigate the path of human-ness together. And, the journey is the reward. May everyone make wise choices and travel well.