Friday, May 18, 2007

Ungrounded

I had an appointment this week with the "health psychologist" at a diabetes center here in town. He has T2 and we usually start out the session bantering back and forth about him thinking there's little difference and me thinking there's a major difference between T2 and T1.
I scheduled the appointment because another one of my T1 relatives is seriously ill. Actually, close to death with multiple organ failutre. I told him I felt very
ungrounded. He thought I was referring to "grounding" as the punishment my nephew gets when he uses too many of his cell phone minutes.

I think that in a way, me spacng out is a protective mechanism - if I'm in lala land, I don't have to be so close to the pain, the loss and the fear that I'll be next. However, being a fuzzball does not bode well for one's concentration and focus - the stuff that I need to perform my job, pay my bills, and managed my db.




One of the ways I try to deal with ungroundedness is to be outside as much as possible. And, without 4 feet of snow on the ground, it is much simpler. The above is a picture of the path I take each morning when I walk to the bus. It is wonderfaul - very peaceful at 6 a.m., with a few of the neighbor dogs who stop to say hi while on their walks. The trees and grass are calming and in a sense, protective. Nature's healing at its best.


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And this, is my Grandmother Tree. Can you see her, standing with arms outstretched?
As I walk, I see her up ahead, those loving arms ready to enfold me. I always feel such a stunning sense of belonging and connectedness when I look at her. She is a great reminder that I have a purpose for being, even with diabetes.

My ideal home would be a rustic cabin on a lake in the northern Minnesota pine forest, where I would roam in the woods daily.

But, in the meantime, the beauty right outside my door abounds. I am thankful.

This weekend, spend some time outdoors, wherever that might be, and return home with a renewed sense of wellness.

13 comments:

Zazzy said...

It looks beautiful there. I love your grandmother tree. :-)

Once in a while I take the time to remind myself that even with the chaos that sometimes surrounds me, that there is a lot of beauty around me too. I'm sorry about your relative and I'm sending positive thoughts your way.

George said...

It is difficult to find but there are places like that here. Honestly, your post and pictures made me feel like I was there too.

thanks.

type1emt said...

One of my favorite spots is at the top of the mountain,thats where I go when I need to unwind.
But there is beauty everywhere, thank you for showing that. We just need to look for those places.

Sandra Miller said...

I know exactly what you mean.

Being outside, working in my garden these past several weeks kept me sane.

And yes, I can see those wonderful outstretched arms.

(I think her cousin is the ginkgo standing in front of the house next to mine. :-)

Rachel... said...

Those photos remind me of growing up in the Midwest. And not having a care or responsibility in the world.

Yeah. I need some of my own grounding.

BetterCell said...

Kathy, the Health-care Providers that you are involved with appear to be inadequete/unprofessional(Jerks).
Thanks for sharing those photos.....they convey a sense of enduring Life, just like You.

Kevin said...

I am so sorry to hear about your relative. It must be very difficult for you and your family.

I love your determination and self-awareness to seek help when needed. Whether from a not so on top of things health psychologist, or from the little pieces of beauty outside your front door. All those little things can quickly add up to something that's quite nice and comforting, huh?

You've got a lot of reason to be here.

Scott K. Johnson said...

Sorry to hear about your loved one. It is so tough to watch.

I love the big mature trees here, right in the city. They almost form an canopy of beauty. And when you walk out there and can tune into all of the bird songs and other things, it can really connect you.

Great pictures.

Carey said...

Very sorry about your ill relative. Fuzzballs are underrated. Me being one of them. Looks like a lovely morning stroll you have.

MileMasterSarah said...

I love the grandmother tree!

Shannon said...

I too have a T1 relative who had gone through rough times with his health. I hope your relative pulls through somehow.

I tend to go to Lala Land myself in times of high stress. It helps me cope.

And I find nature to be so calming.

P.S. Thank you for the compliment :) I made my day with a nice giggle and a stroke to my ego :)

kitter said...

What a beautiful place.. thank you

Chrissie in Belgium said...

Kathy, i am catching up with my blogs. YES, of course I see the grandmother in the tree. I agree - a walk out in the woods, on a beach, through fields does wonders. Everyone knows that exercise makes us feel good but now they are even doing studies that show having unspoiled nature on our doorsteps improves the health of a community! For that matter so does patting dogs. Why do these things work, I don't know but they do. So does laughing. Read "Two Caravans" by Marina Lewycka. I just finished it. It is marvelous and I actually laughed out loud on practically every page. It is good to get your mind on to other things than diabetes. Perspectives get adjusted. All the stuff you see happening to other diabetics in your family - this is a horrible burden to bear. But what are your options? Make and figure out what choices are available to you. Change doctors, try a pump, change your diet.... Then you choose from the options. You make an active plan to try something. Sometimes I think just feeling that you have a choice in the whole thing give you strength. If you say, my plan is this, or I am going to try this, then you feel a teeny bit more in control and less stamped on by fate. Are you following me here? But only you can define your options and you have to choose your own plan. Nobody can do that for you. And Kathy usually what we are most scared of, is NOT what gets us! But I agree it is hard not worrying anyway.