Tuesday, July 18, 2006

My Maiden Voyage

Greetings to everyone in the circle. This is my maiden voyage in posting. I ran across an article by Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer in Yoga Journal and found she had written a book, went to her website, didn't know what a "blog" was and had to find out, went to Scott Johnson's page, found out he was a fellow Minnesotan, and here I am. Diabetes has led me down some rocky paths over the years and now I'm about to take a side trip.
I grew up in an extended family laden with Type 1's - my grandmother had 12 brothers and sisters and their grandchildren's generation was afflicted - 36 of us at this count. By the time I was diagnosed I had witnessed nearly every devastating complication and after a few months of "good-girl compliancy" said "f--k it" and decided that if I was gonna end up like one of them, I might as well have some fun along the way. I spent 25 years wandering around with a blood sugar of 350 or more, sometimes feeling smug that nothing bad had caught up with me. I ate what and when I wanted (and never gained any weight). The only sensible thing I did was convert to multiple daily injections when they became the treatment of choice - somehow that assuaged the guilt from the other stuff I was doing. But even with that aspect, I embraced self destruction like a crazywoman and reused syringes and injected through clothing.
About six years ago I nearly died during an episode of ketoacidosis, and believe me, I was ready to go. Yet ten days later I was on the sidewalk outside the hospital, waiting for a cab, thinking "now what"?
There was no big "aha" moment, but it was the beginning of the cleanup of my act. Since then I've had several A1C's under 7, and this last January learned that the microalbumin in my urine had completely disappeared. But facing the reality of the disease left me in a major state of clinical depression. When I finally found a med that worked, it was refueled by a stint with retinopathy.
But my life today is pretty okay. I work and do my job well; I'm a good friend and family member; I have many interests in diverse areas and thankfully the reasonable health that allows me to pursue them.
Spilling my guts in these few words has left me emotionally exhausted.
As I write this I still think it's about somebody else - no, not me. But, when I read everybody's wonderful posts and discover that other people with diabetes are extremely bright, articulate, compassionate and funny, I may come to see that it's not such a bad clan to belong to after all.
Build on the victories.


Kerri. said...

Hi there.

I found your site via Scott's and I'm happy to welcome you to the blogosphere. I write the blog Six Until Me. and will be adding you to the blogroll tonight.

Build on the victories. I like that very much.

-- Kerri.

Kelsey said...

Welcome to the OC!

This is a great place to get support and inspired to take the best care of yourself possible.

This disease is an uphill battle we're all climbing! This group is like a "climbing partner" :)

Minnesota Nice said...

Thanks. You sure know how to make a girl feel welcome.

George said...

I cannot tell you how much the OC has impacted my life. It has become a virtual "family" to me and I am the black sheep! (every family has one).


Nicole P said...

A little late, but, welcome to the OC. I'm looking forward to reading more! ;)

Lyrehca said...

Welcome--found you through a comment on my site (thanks!) and I think your story is very interesting. Looking forward to more.

Scott K. Johnson said...

Oh I'm SO HAPPY that you're blog is up and running!!!!

Back when you first commented, I tried to check your blog, but it must not have been up yet - so here I am again!

Let me tell you - you have left some AWESOME comments over at my place. The kind that make me sit back and reflect on things. It's really just great, and I'm so glad that you shared with us.

I am extremely pleased that you have started your own blog - and I wish I would have checked back earlier!!

36 type 1 diabetics in your family? Wow - that's something it itself.

You have gone through some very trying times, and I think that experience only adds to your current outlook. I thoroughly appreciate all of the wonderful ideas and insights you have shared in your comments. I can't express enough how helpful they are to me.

Minnesota Nice said...

Once again, a big thank you to everybody.

My MRI is this Monday, the 31st. If a stress fracture shows up, I'll be put in a weight bearing boot for a month. I'll be able to walk in it - no crutches so it shouldn't be too bad, just slow goin'.
If there's no stress fracture, then they'll just consider it some type of soft tissue inflammation.
Actually, it seems much better these last few days.
Go figure.