Sunday, July 23, 2006

Them Bones.....................

Good golly, it took me awhile to get the hang of all this - templates, settings, formatting, editing, but I think I'm on my way.
About a year and a half ago I fell on the ice and broke my ankle, needing 2 plates and 2 pins and 8 weeks on crutches. Every time I went to the clinic I was upset and angry that the Dr.'s main focus was the diabetes -
"because of the diabetes, the bone might not heal", "because of the diabetes, the incisions might become infected", "because of the diabetes......blah blah blah". It was an endless tirade that remnded me of things that I knew were true but were tucked away in the back file. I even heard the nurses out in the hall whispering "she' diabetic". I felt like standng in the middle of them and swinging my crutch 360 degrees and whacking as many people as possible.
But, thankfully, I healed quickly and completely. The day I looked down and saw shoes on both my feet was fabulously liberating.
About a month ago I started having weird pain on the top of the same foot, and immediately went to the symptom checker websites (the hypochondriac's gold mine) and concluded that I should be evaluated for a stress fracture. Went back to the same clinic and this time the doc said, "we'll have to do a full set of xrays of the lower leg and foot, just to be sure your ankle's not falling apart - there's an uncommon complication callet 'Charcot's joint' and if you've got it you're in big trouble". Well, I'm familiar with Charcot - one of my cousins had it and was completely disabled. He left the room and that familiar gut wrenching cold sweat terror sank in, that primordial fear that leaves you pleading to whoever will listen, "please, not me". I hate that more than any of the other unpleasant emotions that accompany a health issue. It is paralyzing and send your common sense reeling away.
After many drawn out minutes, the xrays were taken and transmitted to my computer file. He pulled them up on the screen and said, "the ankle looks fine, and stress fractures don't show up on xrays". So, I am scheduled for an MRI and some physial therapy.
I am disappointed in myself, becaue I was so sure that I'd gotten stronger, much stronger in the last couple of years during my retinopathy experience, feeling that I could handle whatever else came along, but there I was, a near basket case in the ortho clinic.
I asked the PA if I could continue to walk on it and go shopping, (because I had taken the whole day off) and she said "sure" so off I went to the Mall of America and consoled myself with some picket fencing and sidewalks from LegoLand.


Kevin said...

Hey there!

Very nice to see you have your blog up and running!

I certainly hope the ankle continues to heal. I hear you loud and clear on the sinking feeling when you've been given some bad health news. It literally takes your breath away (but not in a good way). It certainly is one of the worst parts of this whole damn thing.

Keep us posted on your progress.

- (definately not a genius, just analytically uptight) Kevin

Lyrehca said...

Diabetes can be tough, in part because there can always be some new challenge (I use that word lightly) around the corner related to some potentially devastating complication.

While no one wants to deal with such news, it's not surprising that the potential for such sinking feelings can always be there under the surface.

Knowing how to handle what comes after the sinking feelings (and in this case, the thankfulness that your ankle didn't have Charcot) has probably been one of the benefits of starting a blog (at least for me): Finding and interacting with others who might be in my shoes and who are dealing with the same things that might be the basis for my own sinking feelings.

Caro said...

Hi, I just found your blog via a comment you left on Scott's. Welcome to the diabetes blogosphere!

I also understand the "sinking feeling" and can't agree more with Lyrehca that blogging is a great way of dealing with it. Just the sharing helps enormously. So here's looking forward to sharing more!


Scott K. Johnson said...

You know, I think that there is something about that "clinical" setting that is just downright upsetting - no matter how the news (or potential news) is delivered.

When will you have the MRI done?

On another topic - there is an option in your blogger settings, where you can turn on something called "word verification" for comments. It will help keep the "spam" commenters (is that a word?) out. You've seen it - where you have to type in some series of letters in the box?

Ah - I've just got this big goofy grin because I'm so happy you've started blogging. Thank you!

mdmpls said...

I know how frustrating it can be when the docs only want to focus on the Diabetes - but honestly, you WANT them focusing on the Diabetes. Many years ago, I fell on some lovely ice (February in MN will definitely provide that) and severly broke my left ankle (2 plates, 6 pins and 4 screws).

I don't think my surgeon ever considered that I was a Diabetic. He scheduled the surgery for afternoon, requiring no eating prior to surgery and then after having we wear a non-weight bearing cast for 6 weeks, gave me a velcro spint and told me to walk when I was ready.

I was walking on the joint before it had time to heal. And as they told you, this is a VERY important joint mine not heal well and it still bothers me today. I WISH he would have paid more attention to the fact that Diabetics do tend to heal slower!

So even though it can be extremely frustating, you are very lucky to have a doc that pays attention to these very important things!