Saturday, May 31, 2008

No Way

I had a bone scan a couple of weeks ago and am going to get the results this week when I go for my pcp appointment. I am already very anxious about yet another test, waiting for results, and maybe having to take yet another pill. No way!

In addition to insulin, I also take oral meds for blood pressure, thyroid, ace inhibitors for my kidneys, antidepressants and sleep meds. As each one of these was added, I felt an immense sense of failure - yet another thing going wrong with an already trashed body. Maybe I'll have to get an extra-large M - S compartmentalized pill box - my current ones barely fit now. I hate it...............



I need to reframe this mindset. Many of my relatives did not make it to the 34 year anniversary, and I have. As we age, we all tend to get "regular-people" stuff. I am convinced that the ace-inhibitors played a big part in returning my kidney function to normal. And, the anti-depressants help me to not run through my days from one crazy woman meltdown to the next. I have already broken an ankle. If I have thinning bones, then another med may protect me from a broken hip, or something worse. I have good insurance to pay for these drugs. So, if necessary, I can do this.

Today while coming home from the grocery store, I dropped my keys on the edge of the sidewalk. There was some really beautiful foliage growing adjacent to it, and after taking a closer look, discovered that they were Lily of the Valley leaves, and that there were tons of perfect little flowers hidden among the leaves. So I picked a few (well, actually, sort of stole them, but I don't think anybody cared) to remind me that as we go through our days, little bits of pleasure are priceless.

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See Birdie's post dated May 27 for discussion on a similar theme.

Have a great weekend.

15 comments:

jill. said...

Great post. 34 years of diabetes is a huge accomplishment! I hate the concept of taking any meds too, but you have take the actions needed to keep yourself happy and healthy.

Thanks for reminding us to take the time to notice the good things.

Donna said...

Kathy - I know what you mean about taking all the meds. I take a lot of OTC supplements & vitamins, too - just to be on the safe side. But thinking about how many I take can get little depressing. But if taking them keeps something else from going wrong, then I guess they're all worth it.

I'm glad you have insurance to help pay for them, too. I've also been blessed with that & it helps immensely. Hope the bone scan comes back A-OK.

Zazzy said...

I love the little lillys! It's a good thing.

I've been on medication since I was 3 - it has always been a part of my life. I share, to some degree, the feeling that if the doc or endo wants to add something else, or increase a med I'm on, I must be a failure. But you're right, the longer we live the more of life's little irritations we are prone to get. I hope your bones are great but if you need meds - I'm really glad you have the insurance and the medical care to get it.

Karen said...

I agree - it's so hard sometimes to live with the fact that we need to take SO MANY medications every day. To feel like our bodies are flawed. But I do like you, and try hard to look at the bright side - that we are lucky to have these medications available to us and that they make our lives better. Bring 'em on!!! :)

Colleen said...

I love the photo of the flowers in the pill container!
When I was 18 I started taking thyroid. One bottle, one pill a day. And with just that, I sometimes forgot. Now I have 3, yes, count them, 3 pill boxes. One for the morning meds (a bunch), one for the with breakfast med, and one for the evening meds. It's a pain - but, seems to be working. Filling the damn boxes on Fridays requires my reading glasses and concentration.
I have to remind myself to be grateful that I have the meds to take care of myself.

Minnesota Nice said...

Oh my gosh, you ladies are making my evening!!!
I'm sitting here in the dark because we are having big storms with marble sized hail. But, since I live in a densely populated area, we will be the first to be fixed.

Jill - (how's the plans going for med school - you must be very excited). Yes, taking the proper action is a responsibility that we have to own up to.

Donna - I take a lot of supplements too, and they are in their own big bottles, lined up in the frig. Somehow, they don't count. I know that the bone scan will catch any osteoporosis early, which is a good thing.

Zazzy - yup, meds are simply what's needed for the body's current circumstances - nothing more. If I could package up some of the blooms, I'd send them your way!

Karen - you are soooo right. We have awesome meds available to us. And, I don't even think the bone scan was available 20 years ago. I intend to take advantage of all the research and development that I can. With gratitude.

Colleen - Friday night is also my "fill the boxes" night. That way, if I need anything refilled I can call it in and pick up the stuff on Saturday. It's great that they are working - effectiveness is the greatest measurement of truth (don't know where that came from........)

Scott K. Johnson said...

What cool little LOTV leaves/flowers! What a neat little surprise!

We've got to roll with the punches you know - otherwise they'll just mow us right down.

Minnesota Nice said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Minnesota Nice said...

Scott - yup, so much easier to roll with the punches. I spent a lot of time last night rehearsing what my arguement would be with the doc if he suggested a new pill, and then realized how stupid and irrational I'd look (well, he probably already thinks that......)
But this is an issue common to my non db friends also - nobody likes to acknowledge that the body doesn't stay in top form forever. Get used to it!

Shannon said...

After reading through the comments, all I can say is I love your attitude! It sucks to have to be on meds, but at least they're available nowadays.

I was reading Jacques Pepin's autobiography and he wrote about his dad being diagnosed with high blood pressure before there was ever medication for it. He was at the mercy of it and succumbed a couple of years later. Most of my family would be gone as I write this including my mom, aunts, uncles, my brother.

Shannon said...

I meant to write, if it weren't for today's medication.....(my family would be gone).

They're healthy because of the medication.

Minnesota Nice said...

Shannon - yes, indeed. We always need to look at the big picture, which, when emotions get in the way it's sometimes hard to do.

Bad Decision Maker said...

I kinda know what you mean, and I kinda don't. I agree that sometimes all the crap we have to do can be frustrating and feel restrictive and icky. But I at least try not to draw the line (for myself and others) and technology or meds; something external vs. internal. Everyone needs insulin to survive, some of us just get it from the outside. Everyone gets oxygen from the outside. I don't think it should be taken as a sign of failure or misery. It's just how it is. Which doesn't mean we can't be rightfully frustrated by specific day to day tasks that are hard or annoying.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm on year 13 of diabetes and I'm probably on as many meds besides insulin as you. Also ace inhibitors (precaution, I've never had kidney problems), also antidepressant. Plus metformin and thyroid.

Good job on all your work so far in the 34 yrs.

Minnesota Nice said...

Thanks, BDM. I was just having a "bad perspective" day and have since gotten over it.

MileMasterSarah said...

Kathy,
I take a lot of pills. Well, I did before we decided to try and have a baby. I was taking Trammadol, Tegratol, and Ellavil. Now I am taking Percocet and prenatal vitamins. I’d rather have the trio. As we added each med to help attain better pain relief, I felt that I was creating my own doom. What am I trying to say? I understand.
Sarah