A couple of weeks ago my '99 Honda Civic, Phoebe, began having some problems. Hondas are good cars, but the older ones are vulnerable to headgasket problems, which are expensive to fix. I was looking at a bill of close to $4000, which was a lot, but I thought I could swing it.
That same week, we were told at work that there would be a 10% paycut, begining in '09. We also had 2 lay-offs in my office, leaving the rest of the staff feeling irritable and anxious. Then we got our benefits info for '09. My HMO was no longer offered. I will be switching to Blue Cross and my cost per pay period will rise from $58 to $125. I currently am paying nothing for test strips, but next year will have a 10% co-payment. I also pay nothing for lab tests, but next year another 10% co-payment. All of these 10%s can add up to a lot of dough. Some of the younger people with good health are choosing to not have insurance at all. I cannot take that risk.
I am giving up the car. At least for now. Minneapolis has a reasonable public transportation system, and I am already taking the bus to work. I won't have to shovel it out for snow emergencies, or worry about it starting after a stretch of below-zero weather. I have lots of warm clothes and the extra walking will do me good.
I can clearly feel myself blaming the diabetes for this. It is convenient to blame the db for everything that goes wrong in my life.............
I am getting old and don't like it...blame the diabetes.
I think I saw a strand of grey hair ...blame the diabetes.
I am no longer comfortable wearing high heels all day and feel like a frumpy school marm in flat shoes ...blame the diabetes.
My dvd player is broken.. blame the diabetes
My neighborhood is no longer quiet and quaint...blame th ediabetes
Winter is coming to Minnesota...blame the diabetes.
Last weekend I was out doing errands. It was cold and gray. Then, I came upon this (and fortunately had my camera):
We had already had a hard freeze, yet still these little guys were showing themselves, magnificent against the shriveling brown vines. And, my favorite shades of blue. Now, had I been driving in my car, I would have missed out on this blatant message that there is goodness and beauty around us - just keep your eyes open.
This next year I'm going to try to put the db into it proper place in my life - and shoot, I don't know what that might be. Too much focus and I am preoccupied and overwhelmed and conveniently dump all of my discontent into the db box; too little focus and I feel unwell and my life is shortened. DB is just one of many threads woven into the structure that we use to define ourselves. And I need to decide where it fits in.
Happy D Blog Day to all of my precious friends. You're the best!
14 comments:
Life is sure good at throwing us rough patches when it seems we won't be able to do it.
Somehow though, we always seem to do it. I'd rather not have to fight stuff, and I'm not saying "chin up and tough it out". Just that we always somehow seem to find a way.
And if we need to lean heavily on friends to do it, so be it. Count on me for a ride if you need to run errands or get somewhere when you just don't feel like messing with Metro Transit.
Big hugs and love to you K.
Balance is really hard, MN. I, too, am either really focused (obsessed) or more or less ignoring the diabetes etc. All this extra stress is probably not helpful to us stress eaters, either.
I agree with Scott, we - all of us - will get through this too. It's part of the journey, right? It may be the part of the journey with the flat tire and blistered feet - but sometimes after we get through it we find we have some pretty good stories to tell.
Hugs to you and I hope good things come your way in this next year as well as (or instead of) all the stress.
Kathy, I understand how you feel.
Make sure that you ask Blue Cross to fix your Honda.
After-all, the problem with it is probably because of your Diabetes, so it is health-related.
If you need any additional legal advice, don't hesitate to ask.
Even though I have G's health insurance, I am going through similar cut-backs at my company and it is so frustrating. And ugh! what timing for your car.
I don't drive and one of my arguments is that I'd miss the little things. It's about the people-watching and the extra walking. :)
Hi Kathy,
I hear you. This isn't getting any easier in real life -- but it's still nice to have each other online...
See my post today at http://www.diabetesmine.com/2008/11/d-blog-day-2008-a-whole-new-world.html
Unfortunately, comments seem to be down at my site right now, but keep trying tomorrow, pleeeaaassseee...
Happy D-Blog Day to you!
AmyT
Kathy,
So glad you found those beautiful flowers-- and could see so much more in their (surprising) appearance.
We too struggle with the issue of balance between focusing too much and too little on diabetes.
(Though, I think Joseph does a better job with this than me.)
Please take care.
I'm sorry to hear about the car, and the insurance. Those things suck. But glad you found a little balance in the beauty around you. Diabetes is certainly about balance. But then,so it seems, so is all of life.
Here's hoping things get better from here.
Thinking of you.
Finding the flowers is wonderful. I'm wearing my Minnesota shirt with a lady slipper on it!
Sorry about your car - if it's not one thing it's another.
Sorry about your insurance - I agree w/ Kathy, submit it to BC.
Flowers, for no reason, and so beautiful. What a lovely photo :)
I agree with Scott, it's funny how life seems to kick you when you're down. Lean away--and BTW, I have a nearly new DVD player you're welcome to. Give me a shout and I'd be happy to send it off to ya :)
Kathy, I read your post a few days ago now...a few times, actually. Balancing both a budget and time spent on diabetes vs. other vital things are challenges that are near and dear to my heart.
To me, the line between over-focus and out-of-control is so thin that it is almost invisible.
I am pulling for you strongly - for your luck to turn...and if you do find the magical answer to this mystical balance question, please, please, PLEASE share!!
....despite all the challenges, you are still able to add brightness to this world. Today, you do that for me. Thank you.
Kathy,
I missed seeing this the day you posted. Ooops.
Happy World Diabetes Day. :-)
Ah, money stuff. It sucks. So does health insurance crap.
I chuckled when I read "... found a strand of gray hair." If I was writing it would be more like, "if I found a CLUMP of gray hair!"
Beautiful song. Beautiful flowers. Puts it all in perspective, doesn't it?
Enjoy your weekend. Wish the gloomy days would go away. Dixie sends a big WOOF your way!
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