Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Further Comments on The Numbers

I was doing a lot of thinking about my last post and hope I didn’t convey the impression that I was trashing “the numbers”. The information the numbers provide is priceless - it’s just that I have a habit of getting emotionally entangled in them and sometimes it’s a tight corner to break out of.

I was running a bit low all day yesterday, and when I got on the bus to go home tested at 47. I have a pretty consistent pattern of a gradual rise in bg between 4-6 p.m., so decided not to treat the hypo and thought I’d be fine. I also really, really wanted to be able to record a “70” in my logbook rather than a “140”. Good Girl. Good Job. Your numbers looked great today…. ……….but, poor decision.

I got off the bus and headed to the grocery store to get some fresh blueberries. I then had the sensation that I was on a treadmill and the sidewalk was moving underneath me, rather than me moving above it - a nofail sign that I was headed south, rapidly. The store that I shop at always has these seductive trays of cheese cubes for sampling. I think the intention is to put just one on a toothpick. Well, I was getting very famished and started stabbing three or four on at once, furiously making my own personal mini-kebabs, and then tried a couple more but my coordination was down the tubes so I moved on to the brownie bites. Had maybe 6 or 7. My mouth was starting to tingle, another sign of a bad situation.

I was pretty lucky to have made it home - testing at 32!. I did not bother to change out of my work clothes and popped a Lean Cuisine in the microwave. When it was ready I stared at it, not quite recalling how to take the cellophane off, so instead opened some juice and spilled it all over my nice dressy skirt.

What an inexcusable chain of poor choices. If I hadn’t been so stubborn and taken 4 glucose tablets, I would have been absolutely fine by the time I got home, had a nice relaxing dinner, and not ruined my favorite piece of clothing. At 7:30 I was up to 360 and spent the rest of the evening chasing after the high and had to set my alarm for 1 a.m. to be sure I wasn’t bottoming out. I feel that caring for the diabetes takes up so much time, but so does sweeping out the trail of dust that is left by a dumb-ass attempt to keep my ego inflated. And, not to mention the fact that even though I’ve never passed out from a hypo, I could have easily been nose-down on the sidewalk.

Do I need another broken ankle? I don’t think so. Do I need a $200 co-payment for an ambulance ride? Probably not. Do I need to forgive myself and try again tomorrow? Yeah, you betcha.

Thursday lies ahead, and the weekend is in sight. Take care. If anyone has any foolproof tips for removing purple grape juice from beige linen, send them my way.


Lyrehca said...

Ah, overtreating a low then chasing the high. Been there, done that many times.

Grape juice on beige linen? To the dry cleaners, I'd say! The sooner the better.

art-sweet said...

This blood sugar game is so frustrating... and then to ruin a favorite skirt! Argh.

Oxiclean works wonders though...

Scott K. Johnson said...

Hey Neighbor!

You really have a wonderful way of expressing things. "getting emotionally entangled in them" - that is so true.

No worries on us thinking you were trashing the numbers - I think your message was perfectly conveyed and most (all?) of us took from it exactly what you meant.

A scary situation looking back on it, that's for sure. I think though, that our brains don't always perform at maximum (or even normal) capacity during a low (and your 47 is there, for sure. No borderline low there).

However, that being said, I have done similar things myself - so I'm not at all making any judgements (I hope it doesn't come across that way).

I had to chuckle, with the image of you trying to make your little mini cheese kebabs...

Very glad to see that you made it home fine.

Don't beat yourself up over the "chain of poor choices" - maybe starting off low handicapped your thought process a bit...?? I know it can for me sometimes.

Again, glad to see you made it home in one piece.