Sunday, April 05, 2009

Sprouting in the Dark

Last Christmas I received a flower bulb kit from one of my nephews.

I forgot about it until a couple of weeks ago when I was thinking about spring clothes and discovered it in the corner of my closet. I thought that the bulb was perhaps dead from not being tended to. I had to look twice when I opened the box, for there it was, sprouting and with green shoots coming out the top - in the dark! Mercy.

I put it into soil and the perfect spot on my windowsill. And here is what we have today.

Gosh, neglected, discarded and still the potential to bloom. I know, of course, that bulbs represent the dormant/resting stage of a plant. But still, this seemed like a miracle.

In March I passed over the 35 year mark of having diabetes. It still floors me. I took it for granted that I wouldn't make it much past 20 and was absolutely certain that I'd be dead before I reached the 25 year anniversary. ..........sigh.........and here I remain today. Since I started blogging, I wonder if things would have been different in the early years had I had an online community to talk with. After all, the only examples of pwd's were my relatives, most of them suffering from debilitating complications. I didn't know anybody who was living well with db. I only knew that at family gatherings the conversation would stop when one "of us" walked into the room. And then there'd be the hushed commentat that she "takes those shots too". My small town family practitioner knew nothing, and that was not his fault. When I was in the hospital he just kept increasing my single dose of NPH until the fasting glucose the next morning was within range. Sheesh - how did any of us survive?

I believe it is because life, all living things, have within them the greatest of potential for survival, just like the bulb in my closet. I believe that it's never too late for good control, and I believe that the possibility for renewal and healing are always close at hand. Sure, I gave up on myself many many times. But by grace or fate or fortune, was always able to rise back to the surface.

Spring has arrived here in Minnesota. The snow is gone, the sidewalks are dry and the trees will soon be showing new growth. Tomorrow I will wake up to a handful of oral meds, needles, lancets and the certain assurance that I'm still happy to be here.


Rachel Baumgartel said...

Wow, that must have been a nice surprise to see the buds of that flower.

Glad to read your blog whenever you pop up.

Araby62 (a.k.a. Kathy) said...

I for one am glad you are still here to inspire and sprout anew every spring :) Happy d-versary!

By the way we are in the midst of a lovely snowstorm in Chicago. Good times! ;)

Scott K. Johnson said...

What a beautiful surprise to find. It is absolutely amazing that it was able to not only survive, but start growing!

35 years is an amazing milestone to celebrate. You have seen much, and learned much, and I am so thankful for what you share with us.

I'm coming up on my 29th year in a few weeks, and am not sure how I feel about it yet. Very mixed, that is for sure.

Zazzy said...

You were diagnosed about the same time my grandmother was, she died 1 1/2 years later. Before joining the online communities I didn't know anyone who would talk about diabetes. Surely I know more people in real life who live with it - but no one talks. I have found having other people to talk with who understand the challenges is the best thing possible for me.

A lot has changed in those 35 years and I'm so glad you are still here and we've had a chance to become friends. Hugs!

meanderings said...

We're happy you're here, too!
Enjoy the upcoming spring days.

Carol said...

That was so beautiful...the flower yes, but the metaphor even more so. It made me smile because it reminds me that when things seem dark, impossible and hopeless, God can bring forth life, beauty and grace. Easter Sunday resurrection after Good Friday death on the cross; spring after a long winter; you living with diabetes for 35 years, much of it without support, and emerging as a deeper and even more beautiful person...all things that make me smile this morning. Thank you!

Anonymous said...
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Lyrehca said...

Gorgeous flowers, and great post. I'm finding that I really respect and enjoy the insights of those of us who have been dx'ed for a long time, and you are no exception. More power to you for 35 years strong with type 1.

BetterCell said...


J.B. said...

Just beautiful, Kathy. Though I don't often comment, I love reading your blog.

Jill said...

Gorgeous flowers and it picked a perfect time to bloom!! That is an Amaryrllis bulb and you can read more about how to make it bloom all year long here :

I have 3 of them (all white, unfortunately) and they were all given to me as gifts. I've only been able to get one of them to bloom all year long. The other 2 won't bloom until the fall.

Congrats on your D-Anniversary!!

Molly said...

Happy 35+ years with the big D!

It's so nice to finally have some warm weather. I actually went out in the yard this afternoon and did some yard work. It felt good.
Of course then I came inside and found the first tick of the season on Ella. It was teeny-tiny!
Hope that all is well.

Molly and Dixie

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